Nursing Life

Really.........
 Had a young (read under 50) patient the other day with chest pain (story of my life).  The pain was some what suspicious for a Pulmonary Embolism (clot in chest).  So I asked a few more questions to see what the risk was.
Me "Any recent swelling in legs" 
Pt- "No"
Me" any history of blood clots"
Yes-" in my leg 10 years ago"
Me" any recent long car travel"
pt "No"

Reading chart later.. pt drives truck for a living.... 14 hour days. Guess next time I should specify truck or car trips =)


Waitress/Nurse.... same thing some days
0355 am

Little old person who was quite well but refusing to go home

Pt-"Can I have some vegetable juice, I think I need to regain my strength"
Me-" We don't have vegetable juice , may I get you some juice or milk"?
Pt-"WHAT KINDA PLACE IS THIS"
Me- well its an emergency room and unfortunately we don't have vegetable juice readily available at 3 in the morning" (really we have it never)
pt- Its not three in the morning
Me- Ok, its four. I still don't have it Now  can I get you anything else?
Pt- Juice
Me- Apple or Orange
Pt- Whatever has the least sugar
Me (having no clue,.... both are cheap juice)..."why don't I get you some apple =)
Pt " I guess so.(grumble...grumble). what kinda place is this, how do you think people are going to get better if you don't have proper food. 

KiloWhat

Me- Hello my dear, I just need to weigh you for some medication- have you weighed yourself recently?
Pt- Well I don't know how much in pounds, only in kiloMETRES
Me- That's just fine

So polite

Checking in a pt whose chronic medical condition was in a crisis.  I was taking a history as to what had brought them in to crisis.  It came out that no meds had been taken because the pt had been doing drugs for 5 days.  As I pieced together the story I rephrased and clarified with the patient with "okay so you were doing fine and well controlled but then you got high  for 5 days and havn't been able to get back on track". The pt confirmed that.  The ICU attending came down to see the pt.  He is one of my favorite.. very quiet and dignified.  I happened upon him doing his assessment and found him also at the summarization/clarification phase.  His summary however sounds somewhat like.. So what I understand is that you stopped taking you meds when you were distracted by the mushrooms....

Addictions

Getting Report from the Paramedics on a pt transfer 
Okay so this is the guy who left earlier against medical advice.... he had some large clots floating around in his heart and lungs but wanted to leave.   He left here three hours ago, went to McDonalds, did some cocaine and then checked into the neighbourhood hospital across the river.  Now he is back here to see the Cardiologist and ICU docs and start treatment.